Conflicted May

May has already been a conflicted month for me… let me break it down a little.

I hate May…

I don’t hide this.  I don’t deny this.  And it wasn’t always this way.

The month of May holds a lot of dates that hold meaning to me.  Birthdays and anniversaries, hellos and goodbyes.  Some memories hold more happiness or pain than others, but all are important to me, to who I am, to why I am the way I am.

This May has also brought along some storms – quite literally.  One recent storm has turned life on its side for me, uprooting some plans and pausing nearly everything else.  Lightening struck a tree next to my house, and while it could have been much worse, the damage it caused has put everything else on hold.  It seems every day, something else is discovered that is broken, burnt up, or shorted out.  0 out of 10 do not recommend a lightening strike.

I’ve spent the last week coordinating tree services, appliance technicians, electrician, and septic specialists. I’ve found pieces of tree on the opposite side of the house as the actual tree. My house no longer feels like a sanctuary. And I’ve realized just how alone I am in all of this. While I know this will all pass, I am on empty and just… done. I can feel my heart hardening to the world, walling off nearly everyone around me, with their empty words of encouragement and hollow platitudes, but no real comfort or empathy, no real assistance or reassurance. I weep for my future, one of self-made isolation and cold-hearted silence. You were all right to leave me in your past… I’m a sinking ship.

In other, more positive news…

Habemus Papam!

The Roman Catholic Church has a new pope!  On May 8th, the College of Cardinals elected Robert Francis Prevost to be the new Bishop of Rome, after the death of Pope Francis on April 21.  Originally from Chicago, Illinois, Pope Leo XIV is the 267th pope, the first American pope, the first Peruvian pope (he holds dual citizenship), and the first pope from the Augustinian Order.  He brings with him a lifetime of missionary service, mostly in Peru where he was named Bishop before being called to Rome as a Cardinal under Pope Francis.  I am still learning about his early life and look forward to seeing what his Papal outlook and focus will be.  May God bless Pope Francis, Pope Leo XIV, and all of us as the Church moves forward into a new chapter.

Photo credit: Alberto Pizzoli/AFP via Getty Images via Google

Pope Leo XIV greets the public for the first time from the main balcony of St. Peter's Basilica.

“We are all in God's hands. Therefore, without fear, united hand in hand with God and among ourselves, let us move forward. We are disciples of Christ.” – Pope Leo XIV

I am hoping the rest of May smooths out – after all, weren’t all those April showers supposed to bring May flowers?

Happy birthday, Daisy. I know we’re strangers again, but I still wish the world for you. Always and Forever.

Until next time, remember to always Spin the Compass.